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mnemonically: and for some reason they have wifi (please tell me you're in jail) (Default)
Default
Keywords:
  • please tell me you're in jail
Description: and for some reason they have wifi
mnemonically: It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day (man sorry about that)
Keywords:
  • man sorry about that
Description: It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
mnemonically: I had the entire Verizon network with me. (you act like i was drinking alone...)
Keywords:
  • you act like i was drinking alone...
Description: I had the entire Verizon network with me.
mnemonically: Just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. They were horrified. (don't ever try to run hungover)
Keywords:
  • don't ever try to run hungover
Description: Just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. They were horrified.
mnemonically: Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down. (first off: i'm drunk so fuck you)
Keywords:
  • first off: i'm drunk so fuck you
Description: Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down.
mnemonically: I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven. (thank god they found balloon boy)
Keywords:
  • thank god they found balloon boy
Description: I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
mnemonically: You're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable. (stop autocorrecting my fucks to ducks)
Keywords:
  • stop autocorrecting my fucks to ducks
Description: You're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
mnemonically: I have photos. (i just punched cris angel in the balls)
Keywords:
  • i just punched cris angel in the balls
Description: I have photos.
mnemonically: Hiding in a bush. When you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out. (hey i'm running from the cops)
Keywords:
  • hey i'm running from the cops
Description: Hiding in a bush. When you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
mnemonically: You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. (and you... you had harry potter glasses)
Keywords:
  • and you... you had harry potter glasses
Description: You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass.
mnemonically: What the fuck? (pigeons can smell the fear)
Keywords:
  • pigeons can smell the fear
Description: What the fuck?
mnemonically: So when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.' (just renamed my iPod as 'the titantic')
Keywords:
  • just renamed my iPod as 'the titantic'
Description: So when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
mnemonically: A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am. (the ticket read 'found nude in a tree')
Keywords:
  • the ticket read 'found nude in a tree'
Description: A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
mnemonically: Because I got cut off last night after a stripper bent over and I screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'. (i have two black x marks on my hands)
Keywords:
  • i have two black x marks on my hands
Description: Because I got cut off last night after a stripper bent over and I screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'.
mnemonically: But the food in the fridge is awesome. (i don't know where i am)
Keywords:
  • i don't know where i am
Description: But the food in the fridge is awesome.